


Funny You Should Ask

by charmlesstrans (casketgowns)



Series: Polyverse! [1]
Category: My Chemical Romance
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Christmas Fluff, Established Relationship, Fluff, Multi, Platonic Female/Male Relationships, Polyamory
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-27
Updated: 2015-12-27
Packaged: 2018-05-09 17:10:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,369
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5548583
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/casketgowns/pseuds/charmlesstrans
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A little late Christmas poly fic! Gerard and Lynz are married, Frank and Gerard have their own relationship on the side, and Lynz and Frank are platonic. I fucked with the canon universe a bit. I think I got Bandit's age right, and Mitch is there briefly, but Frank and Jamia were never married/never had kids. I probably did this mostly because I suck at writing interactions between multiple characters! Yay!</p><p>Title is a Front Bottoms song. Thanks for reading and please comment :)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Funny You Should Ask

Frank awoke rather groggily to the warm, comforting smell of coffee wafting into the bedroom on Christmas morning. The previous night’s “Adult’s Only” Christmas Eve party had taken quite a toll on him, and crashing at Gerard and Lynz’s place seemed the safest idea. Maybe ending up in the same bed as the married couple was a bit of a boundary-crosser in the polyamory handbook but he figured a little too much spiked egg nog was excuse enough to crawl up into king sized sheets and nuzzle his inebriated face into the warmth of Gerard’s neck, flopping tired limbs across his chest, (and maybe accidentally hitting Lynz in the face), until he dozed off.

 

Frank rubbed his eyes awake, and checked the time on his phone: 8 AM. He couldn’t believe Gerard was actually up before him. This had to be the first time the whole year that Gerard had gotten up before 12:00. Frank stretched his arms, and let the scent of Caramel Drizzle drag him out of the bed and into the hall towards the kitchen.

 

“Merry Christmas to me,” Frank said happily, reaching for a mug in the cabinet and wrapping an arm around Gerard’s waist to reach for the coffee pot.

 

“Hey!” Gerard laughed, trying to move away from Frank’s arm trapping him against the counter and facing the coffee pot.

 

“Nope, no moving until I get my coffee,” Frank retorted as Gerard squirmed playfully and Frank tried to pour himself a cup. “You’re gonna make me spill it, dipshit.”

 

“Don’t call me names, I let you sleep in my bed last night, you know.” Gerard grumbled, unsuccessfully jabbing an elbow back in hopes of lobbing Frank in the stomach.

 

“Yeah, yeah, I know I was there. And I’ll call you whatever I want,” Frank’s voice got low, and he pushed Gerard up against the edge of the counter firmly. He felt and saw Gerard flush under the thin fabric of his navy t-shirt, and the moment grew soft. “Merry Christmas,” he mumbled into the back of Gerard’s neck, following his statement with a line of kisses down to the top of Gerard’s shoulder, peeking out from his collar.

 

“Merry Christmas,” Gerard smiled back, turning around to see Frank’s face. He placed a gentle kiss on his forehead, and pushed away a lock of his messy morning hair. “Hair’s getting long,”

 

“So is yours,” Frank said, twirling a finger around a wayward black strand.

 

“Hey, quit, you’re gonna fuck it up,” Gerard complained, trying in vain to pat down his rat’s nest head of hair, even more erratic than usual.

 

“Sure I am,” Frank cracked a smile, pecking Gerard’s cheek briefly before leaning back and letting him out of the hold he had him in against the counter.

 

Frank took a sip of his coffee, and looked around the kitchen and into the living room. “Where’s Lynz?”

 

“Waking Bandit up.”

 

As soon as the words left Gerard’s mouth, Frank heard the excited footsteps of a 6 year old from the other side of the house.

 

“Mom, can I open my presents??” Frank heard the little girl’s voice as her and Lindsey came into view around the tree. Bandit circled the piles of wrapped gifts around the bottom of the tree.

 

“Yeah, hold on honey. Wait for Dad and Frank to come in here and we’ll all open them together, alright?”

 

“Okay! Hurry up Dad!!” Bandit called into the kitchen. Lynz chuckled and walked into the kitchen towards Gerard, leaning in to give him a kiss on the cheek and pick up a mug for coffee.

 

“Merry Christmas, Frank. Sleep well?” Lynz asked.

 

Frank smiled a little sheepishly. “Uh, yeah, thanks for letting me stay, and everything. I should’ve asked before I just crashed.”

 

“Don’t be silly, Frank. You were going to come back in the morning anyway, so if anything it was more convenient. Besides, our home is always your home.” Lynz shared a knowing look with Gerard, then poured herself some coffee and nodded in Bandit’s direction.

 

“Kiddo’s really fired up, and I think it’s probably best not to keep a 6 year old on Christmas waiting.”

 

                                                                                             --------

 

“Which one do you want to open first, honey?” Gerard asked Bandit as the family all settled in around the tree. Bandit reached for a big one near her, adorned with a festive tag that read “FROM: SANTA.”

 

“This one! It’s from Santa!” she exclaimed, already tearing wrapping paper off.

 

“Sounds like a good choice,” Gerard commented, taking a sip of his coffee and leaning into Frank’s side on the sofa.

 

Bandit impatiently ripped tape and cheap wrapping paper to get to her gift; a giant art box filled with enough supplies to do anything her heart desired, as well as lots of superhero coloring books to put to good use.

 

“Ahhhhh!!!!” Bandit cried, turning the box over and over to see all the pictures that decorated it, showing what was inside. “This is amazing!!”

 

“Santa’s really great at picking out gifts, huh?” Lindsey grinned.

 

“Duh, he is! He’s Santa,” came Bandit’s response.

 

Over the course of about twenty minutes, Bandit opened various gifts from her parents, (and Santa.) She received some comic books, coloring books, Star Wars toys, new pajamas, DVDs, and stuffed animals. Every time she opened a new gift she squealed with delight, leaving piles of crunchy wrapping paper in her wake as she tore through her massive pile under the painted green plastic tree branches. When she reached a package from Frank she read the tag he had fastened to it out loud.

 

“To: The Los Angeles County Bandit, From: Frankie-Stein.” She giggled, and ripped the paper off of the gift, revealing it to be a Star Wars video game for the Playstation. She hopped up from her seated place on the floor, and began to jump up and down, hyper with excitement. She raced to Frank on the couch and enveloped him in a huge hug.

 

“Thank you, thank you, thank you!”

 

“No problem, kid. As long as you let me and your Dad play with you, right?” Frank replied, winking at Gerard.

 

“Duh!” Bandit giggled, falling back on the floor to open more presents.

 

Once she was down to only one small package, she stopped before tearing the paper off.

 

“Go on honey, open your last gift,” Lindsey urged her on.

 

“I want to give you, Dad, and Frankie presents first,” Bandit explained, setting her gift down, and crawling to the back of the tree to retrieve three crudely wrapped objects.

 

“Oh, that’s okay baby. We don’t need to open ours right now,” Lynz assured her, watching with amusement and tenderness as Bandit carried the packages towards the couch. She dropped one in each adult’s lap and sat back down, awaiting the reveal.

 

“But I want you to open yours, Mom,” she explained.

 

Lynz grinned over at Gerard and Frank. “Alright, well they must be super important.” She began to tear open the wrapping paper.

 

“I can’t wait to see what it is,” Gerard smiled, beginning to tear tape from the edges of the crinkled paper.

 

“I made them myself in school!” Bandit explained with pride.

 

Lynz was the first to finish unwrapping hers, and revealed a handmade snowman fashioned out of cotton balls. The snowman had beads for eyes, pipe cleaner arms, and choppy black felt hair that matched Lynz’s signature style. It also sported a plaid felt scarf with ‘Lyn-Z’ scrawled in permanent marker. Lindsey clutched her chest and stared at her daughter’s creation in the affectionate way all parents do when their growing child presents them with something they’ve made by themselves.

 

“This is great, honey! I love it so much, thank you,” Lynz said, reaching down to grab her daughter in a hug. She kissed her head tenderly, and pulled her into her lap as they watched the other two adults unwrap their snowmen.

 

Gerard’s wore choppy black felt hair, and a blue t-shirt cleverly decorated with haphazard paint splotches. The corner of the shirt had “Gerard” written in childlike Sharpie handwriting. Gerard giggled and smiled at Bandit. “It’s perfect! It looks just like me! You’re really putting my skills to the test there, aren’t you?” Bandit bubbled with laughter and pointed at the snowman.

 

“Look, Dad, I even painted the ends of the pipe cleaners where the snowman’s hands are because you always have paint on your fingers!” She laughed hysterically, kicking her feet in Lynz’s lap and beaming.

 

“Oh my god,” Gerard laughed, shaking his head at his daughter. Lindsey and Frank began laughing too, amused by Bandit’s keen observation skills and creativity.

 

“God, now I’m afraid to see mine,” Frank teased, winking at Bandit. He unwrapped his snowman slowly, just to annoy her, peeling the tape off too carefully on purpose and neatly folding pieces of torn paper before sitting them on the couch cushion next to him.   

 

“C’mon, open it, doofus!” Bandit insisted impatiently.

 

Frank giggled his little high-pitched laugh and suddenly attacked the gift, scraping paper off left and right and leaving crumbled piles all around him. Bandit laughed and laughed excitedly as she watched him.

 

Frank's snowman was painted green and sported an ugly grimace, etched on crookedly with Sharpie to resemble stitches. The sides of the snowman’s head were also adorned with small pieces of grey pipe cleaner to represent bolts. The t-shirt it wore had “Frankiestein” written across it.

 

“Oh. My. God!” Frank remarked through his howls of laughter. “This is so great.” Everyone was giggling non-stop, especially Bandit who seemed to regard Frank with amusement at all times.

 

“I love this, Bandit, thank you very much. You’ve captured my essence perfectly,” Frank said, holding back more giggles.

 

“Whatever that means!” Bandit replied, sticking her tongue out at Frank.

 

“You are one silly kid, sister,” Frank said, sitting his snowman next to him and leaning comfortably into Gerard’s side on the couch.

 

“No, I’m not! You’re silly!” Bandit offered in rebuttal.

 

Frank only shook his head. “Open your last gift, squirt. I have other presents to open too, you know.” He looked up to smile devilishly at Gerard.

 

“Don’t be so confident, Frank. Santa might have brought you coal,” Gerard said, looking over to wink at Bandit.

 

“Yeah! Were you good this year, or not Frankie?” Bandit asked, arching one of her eyebrows dramatically.

 

“Please, I’m good every year. Better than good; I’m great,” Frank decided, smirking at Gerard, who responded in smacking him lightly upside the head.

 

“Sure..” Bandit replied snarkily as she opened up her last gift. Once she peeled the paper off of a small alien plushie, and thanked her parents, Frank made a huge show of grabbing one of his gifts that was from Gerard.

 

“Finally, I get to open MY presents…” Frank teased Bandit, crawling across the living room floor to pick one of his up. Bandit rolled her eyes and watched Frank open a square package. He peeled back the paper to reveal a cardboard box.

 

“I guess Santa did think I was bad if all I got was some cardboard,” Frank remarked, winking over at Gerard who shook his head, amused at Frank's antics.

 

“That one’s from Dad, you silly goose!” Bandit explained, laughing and cuddling her alien plushie to her chest.

 

“Oh, you’re right. I read the tag wrong.” Frank opened the box and pulled out a coffee mug shaped and painted like Freddy Krueger.

 

“Oh wow! Did you make this, Gee?” Frank exclaimed, admiring the details and paint job, running his fingers over expertly shaded grooves in the skin to dramatize his facial scars.

 

“Yeah. Lynz helped me pick out what horror movie villain to do for it. I was going to do the obvious: Frankenstein, but I guess it’s a good thing I didn’t considering Bandit’s gift,” Gerard said, smiling over at his daughter.

 

“I love it so much. Thank you. But, now I feel bad because one of your gifts is pretty similar,” Frank sighed, looking down at the mug in his hands.

 

“If it’s another coffee mug, I’m always going to need them,” Gerard assured him as he got up from his spot on the couch to pick up what he assumed was the said present from Frank.

 

He sat back down next to Lynz on the couch, and unwrapped a small, yet heavy, bag. He pulled a hand painted Captain Phasma coffee mug out of a sea of green and red tissue paper. His eyes went wide with excitement. “Did you make this, Frankie?” he asked in awe.

 

“Well, with a little of Lynz’s help, I’m not gonna lie. It’s not nearly as well done as your Freddy one, though, and if Lindsey wasn’t so good at keeping secrets, I probably would’ve got you something else,” Frank explained, shifting his eyes from Gerard to Lynz, seeming slightly embarrassed.

 

“No, Frank, it’s great. I really love it,” Gerard assured him.

 

Frank beamed at that, his cheeks turning a light red at Gerard’s simple but meaningful words.

 

There was a beat of silence after Gerard opened his mug that was soon filled with Bandit’s voice.

 

“Can I get my stocking now?”

 

\---------

 

After the last gift was opened, the last stocking was unstuffed, the last drop of coffee was poured from the pot, and the last bites of Gerard’s pancakes were gobbled up, everyone chose their favorite new Christmas gift to put to use. In the living room, Bandit twirled Mitch’s new cat toy above his head, watching him playfully paw at the colorful feathers that dangled on the end of the toy. Gerard and Lynz sampled some new Nespresso flavors that Frank bought for them, and Frank sat in one of the living room chairs, reading Henry Rollins’ tour diaries that Lindsey gifted him.

 

Quiet footsteps walked across the living room floor as Frank read. He was so immersed in his reading that he didn’t notice Gerard and Lindsey standing in front of him until Gerard said his name.

 

Frank visibly jumped a little, and looked up, his glasses slipping from his nose slightly. “W-what?” he asked.

 

Gerard chuckled warmly, and looked over a Lynz with a grin that he was trying to suppress.

 

“We have...a little surprise for you,” Gerard said, still looking right at Lynz as he talked.

 

Frank raised an eyebrow suspiciously. “What kind of surprise?” he asked, closing his book and sitting it on the arm of the chair.

 

“Just come to the bedroom and we’ll show you,” Lindsey said, grabbing Frank’s had to pull him up from the armchair.

 

“Is it another Christmas present?” Frank questioned the couple as they walked down the hall.

 

“You could say that,” Gerard said as they walked into the bedroom and he opened up the bedside table drawer. Lynz stood holding Frank’s hand and grinning as Gerard took a small package out of the drawer. He held it hidden in his hand, so Frank only heard the papery crinkle as Gerard closed his fingers around it.

 

“Close your eyes,” he said.

 

“Uh, okay,” Frank chuckled, fidgeting in place a little.

 

“And hold out your hand,” Lynz instructed.

 

Frank held his free hand palm up and felt Gerard give him something that felt oddly like a candy wrapper. He cocked an eyebrow with his eyes still closed.

 

“You can open your eyes now, Frankie,” Gerard said softly, lightly chuckling under his breath.

 

Frank opened his eyes and looked at his hand to see that he was holding….a Ring Pop? Frank tried not to visibly frown. Gerard and Lynz were making such a big deal out of it; and all it ended up being was something as random as a piece of candy? He laughed a little to try and ease the awkwardness he felt towards the situation.

 

“Uh, thanks guys….a little bit of a big show for such a small gift though. Thought you got me a new car or something,” He chuckled.

 

Gerard rolled his eyes. “Dumbass, open it up.”

 

Frank peeled open the shiny wrapper and pulled out just what he expected to pull out: a strawberry Ring Pop, all sticky and sugary and glistening atop an orange-colored plastic ring.

 

“Thanks…?” Frank said again, pulling the candy all the way out of its packaging.

 

Gerard huffed out a classic overdramatic, god-you’re-such-an-idiot-Frank, why-do-i-always-have-to-do-everything sigh, and touched the edge of the Ring Pop ring, flipping up a white card dangling from a string that Frank didn’t previously see. Frank gave Gerard a stern, aggravated, don’t-be-such-a-drama-queen-Gee look and made a show of snatching the card from Gerard’s fingers and reading it to himself. Gerard stood biting the edges of his nails as he watched Frank’s gaze shift across the card and change from mildly aggravated at Gerard and confused, to gentle surprise. Lindsey was still holding his hand.

 

 **_“Will you marry us?”_ ** the card read in Lindsey’s fluid handwriting. He flipped the card over to see the back was packed with tiny, messy Gerard writing.

 

**_“Frank,_ **

**_You’ve been my best friend through all of the best, worst, most fun, and most difficult years of my life. You and I have always had a special connection that I could never fully explain. It just seemed right. It always seemed right to love you, in every meaning of the word. You and Lindsey are the two most intimate people in my life, and I wouldn’t want it any other way. But you already know all that, I’m just rambling as usual. I love you Frankie, and I want to be able to wake up every morning and tell you that._ **

**_-G”_ **

 

Frank's breath hitched as he read the last sentence. He looked up at Gerard who was standing nervously in front of him, biting holes into his fucking fingers, and shifting from foot to foot in his Darth Vader pajama pants. Tears welled up stubbornly on the edges of Frank’s eyes, and he furiously wiped them away with the back of his hand, trying not to turn into a gross, blubbering, emotional mess. Lindsey enveloped Frank in a huge hug, and Frank heard Gerard sniffle.

 

“We wanted to ask you to finally move in with us, and we needed a creative way to do it, so we thought, it’s kind of a marriage of sorts, so why not treat it like one?” Lindsey said excitedly, ending the hug and squeezing Frank’s hand. “It’s kinda cheesy, but that’s the fun part, right?” she laughed.

 

Frank was struck silent. He couldn’t stop smiling, but he couldn’t make his mouth work at all. He had millions of thoughts racing through his head, but none of them seemed right enough. He fiddled with the piece of paper in his hands, and felt salty tears dripping from his eyes and onto the beautiful words in his hands.

 

“My pansy ass can’t stop crying, huh?” he finally said, chuckling and wiping tears furiously. He looked up at Gerard with red eyes, and Gerard’s smile curled from a soft smirk into a huge, cheek-aching grin. Frank grabbed onto his shirt and pulled him into a tight embrace. They hugged wordlessly for a moment, just happy tears and breathy laughs.

 

“Yes or no, motherfucker?” Gerard said into Frank’s shoulder. Frank and Lindsey both erupted into fits of laughter at that, and Frank leaned back from the hug, keeping his hands steady on Gerard’s hips. He studied Gerard’s face, softly aged, but still the same Gerard he fell in love with all those years ago. Bright hazel eyes that longed for adventure, a dainty nose that seemed both simultaneously wrong and right on his pretty-without-even-trying face, thick, full brows that gracefully curved along the edges of his features, and a shy smile that would melt anyone’s heart into a pathetic puddle. Frank leaned in and pressed a kiss into that smile, squeezing Gerard’s hips, always seemingly molded to fit the empty places between his fingers.

  
“Absolutely, yes,” Frank confirmed, grabbing Gerard’s face earnestly after the kiss was broken. He looked from Gerard's happy, tear-stained face, to Lynz's beaming, ecstatic one.

“Best fucking Christmas, ever.” he declared, punctuating the sentence with another kiss to Gerard's lips that tasted like caramel drizzle coffee, Christmas, and most importantly, home.


End file.
